This is Capsuled a site showcasing sub-genres and subcultures of queer and/or BIPOC descent. This series will be highlighting queer and/or BIPOC creatives in a casual interviews with a focus on understanding the impact of community on marginalized identities and learning more about really cool individuals.
Today, I sat down with the fashionable pisces from the Bay and discussed their love for the local rave scene. We talked about community in online spaces and the impact music has made in Mj's personal life. Check out our conversation below and watch the full-length interview under the videos section!
Share a little bit about yourself
Hi, my name is MJ. I go by he/they pronouns. I am in Claremont, California right now. But I typically live in the Bay Area. A few things about me...I'm a Pisces, that is important. You know, I think so. Pisces best sign I feel like I'm, I have a few passions my right now. I used to be really big into poetry. I used to read and write a lot. But I haven't really been at the bocce for about a year, year and a half. Right now I'm pretty focused on like, fashion and fashion curating or alpha hearing a lot. I work at this buy, sell, trade store, right, you know, in the college town that I work at that diamond right now. So it's like, it's really cute to kind of solidify my like, at least, like, intense interest in like, you know, clothes and fashion and everything like that. And so I think that's kind of where my focus is right now. I'm trying to pursue a few different like avenues of expression too, like painting. I don't do that a lot. But like, the times that I have been, I like it a lot. I don't know what I guess it's pretty much I want to teach myself how to play the ukulele. I don't know. That's like a passion I don't know something. I'm like interested in it right now. But that might change like fucking tomorrow, you know? Yeah, that's just what comes to mind right now.
What got you into fashion?
So I identify as queer. And I came, I came to terms of my identity pretty late in the game, or only my senior year of high school. I'm a junior going into my junior year in college now, but I see my senior year of high school, I realized that I was clear. And I think that a part of being queer means constantly like, paving your truth, and the world because it isn't always reflected, especially being queer and Black. You know, and so I think, how you show up in the world, via, like, you know, the clothes you wear, is one of the many ways to pave your tooth, you're queer, Black, truth. And that's just an avenue expression that I chose, in order to kind of reflect my truth in the world. It's, you know, fashion. And so I've, you know, just kind of put more energy into once I start to put more energy into, like, the kind of clothes that I wanted to wear, there's a story behind that there's a story behind that, you know, it's just, it's so it all comes down to like the kind of clothes you're drawn to, which lets you know that it's so deep seated. It's such like, like, a deep seated, intrinsic inclination to show your truth in whatever way you can enclose is just how I do that. People have painting and people have poetry, people have songwriting flows.
What communities do you belong to?
That's a really good question, because I haven't reflected much about the communities that I belong to. I definitely do though. I think for one, that community that come the community that comes to mind I think about this question is, you know, my chosen family Yeah, that's it first and foremost, I think that, you know, again, again, coming out as queer and graduated from high school, especially going and growing up in a family that isn't like, you know, super accepting very conservative, it was important for me to find people in my adult life that saw me for who I was, and, like, loved me unconditionally. And especially coming to college, I found people who have chosen to love me for who I am. And in, in like, a paradoxical way that has like, given me permission to love myself. So Oh, my chosen family every day. And so yeah, chosen family like that, like the friends that I hold dear to my heart, that come from like many different backgrounds, like they are, I owe, I owe everything to them. So they are the community that I belong to my chosen family.
Other communities I think of, I don't know, I think that also, like the work environment, I work at, again, at the bicycle tracer that I work at in the village. Um, that's like, I consider that a community because I feel so like, loved and cherished there. And I also feel like, again, specific to fashion, everyone has like, very unique styles, you know, and that just kind of, you know, allows me to be more comfortable with kind of display my own as well. Just because there are such diverse, they're such diverse looks, you know, and I feel like we all like kind of respect each other's like fashion choices and everything and every like each other's eye when it comes to clothes. And, you know, just kind of come come together, like, kill it, you know, like, I just love working there so much, because, like, everyone is so different. And like also just appreciative, everyone's different, like styles and aesthetics and whatnot. So I definitely consider like the work environment, my work environment, workplace to community as well.
Another more recent community that I've also been a part of, just like the underground slash rave scene, in California. I went to my first ever race last year in the Bay Area. And I absolutely loved it, I went to one and I absolutely fucking loved it. And I knew that was kind of a scene that I always wanted to be a part of, but it's never really like kind of, it's very underground. So you kind of have to, like think very word of mouth. So you kind of have to know know, someone who knows someone. And and I started, I met someone at my job who came in the shop for clothes, and he was a DJ, if I'm being honest, I thought it was cute. So I was like chopping it up with him. And tonight, he was a DJ and you know, he invited me to like a rave or whatever. He was DJing at the rave and so I went up to the rave and it was just the I just felt so at home as soon as I entered like because like everyone looked like me and not everyone was black but everyone was like a person of color, like dressed in very non normative ways. And just kind of fill in themselves.
It's funny because I've gone to like a lot of LA clubs and whatnot and I've always felt those experiences. Those are always like out of body experiences for me that never felt like entirely comfortable you know, like I'm always kind of like I don't know it was one time I were like my platform heels to like the LA club is La this straight la club at that on the wall pulled up I don't know why I went but this la I want my platform heels of the straight elite club and they're just so clear that I was like one of the more non normative bodies they're like it was just I don't know just a different experience you can experience I wouldn't I don't want to I don't want again so but I compare that to the rave scene because I felt so much more at home so much more connected. I make so much more friends and I i still have like way people that I talk to you like to this day like not even just about like partying on the weekends is also about like, like fostering community like, over Instagram like a lot of them are like, have like online shops and small businesses and like on it and they kind of use Instagram Tik Tok to promote them and I like support them whatever I can on there as well. And so I just feel so much more. I just feel like there's so much more of a shared experience within the rave community which is what makes that space so comforting and empathetic So the rave community, for sure, is the community that I'm proud to say I belong to you right now.
Do you feel like your forms of escapism often involve community?
They didn't before. I have, you know, being transparent, I've had very unhealthy forms of escapism, that I'm still struggling with to this day. And but I think, more recently, my forms of escapism, first of all, I need to kind of redefine what escape, escapism kind of meant to me. And so I kind of, I kind of view it as, like, I don't know, not like running away from something, but rather a release, you know, whether it's like daily frustrations, or like, pent up anger, or rage or sadness, or just again, being like Black and queer is a heavy load, it will, it will be for the rest of my life, the rest of our life, you know, are our lives. And so I think, because of that, you know, forms of escapism, or, in other words, forms of release, unnecessary.
And so, in the context of my life, I think raves, again, like I said, in the previous question had been, like, a really, a really great form of release for me. Because, again, there's that shared experience, really, that's really coded into the rave scene. You know, we're all like, everybody's queer, everyone, everyone in every way, like, in terms of gender in terms of race, and sexuality. And we all have like, and a lot of the people that I even met from here like met from raves also, like come from like, similar backgrounds, like low income, or like unhealthy child unhealthy homes. And so it's like, again. raves have been kind of my form of like, release. Now, because it's like that, because it just like drugs, or alcohol or music evolve, but primarily, because there's that shared experience with people who are so empathetic to my lived experiences, you know. And so, to answer the question, my forms of escapism have not always involve community, but they haven't recently. And I think because of using escaping through the community, I'm learning healthy ways that like escapism for release now.
What genre of music is standard for the rave scene you participate in?
I am so bad at like naming genres. So it's like it's rave music is music you feel there's like an intentional catharsis associated with the music they play, or the music the DJs create, so there are seldom any lyrics. It's typically just intense bass you know, fast rhythm that to the point where you have no choice but to like dance and whatever way that makes you feel comfortable, you know, have people just kind of like bobbing their heads back and forth and people like kicking the air, there are people just kind of like spinning around in circles swinging their arms or whatever. You just kind of using their body to express whatever they feel in that moment and, and so it's difficult to like, for me at least to kind of like name, the music that listen to the music that I play at raves, but if I were to describe it, it's like, again, super like bassy. It's like a bit hardcore. It's not like it's not like intense in terms of sound but intense in terms of like feeling, you know? It's meant to get the blood rushing blood going. It's like loud, it's, I don't know, basically, again, or I don't know sent name a few songs that I know of.
Popular songs you might hear artists are a few popular songs and more mainstream radio songs that I know of are Brutalismus 3000. Those that's the artist so those that's the band I think, are like the group. They have two songs that I love, they have a good girl, phenomenal, rave song. And they also have seen as a baby boomer. hilarious and they're all like, be oh my god, I listen so much. And then a lot of the DJs that I met shameless plugs made me go on Instagram right now because I can't think of the names off top my head. But this is DJ that I met at their shop. They go by Henny Fay on Instagram, they have a SoundCloud link to their bio. There, they're, you know, one of my favorite, like rave DJs. We have also enlightenedvirgocreations on Instagram that and they were having a few of the raids that I've been to info hazard is also one of the my Favorite rave DJs. And so these are the main three that I know of that. That I've been at the raves that I've been to and like their music is always up like, oh my god, I love them so much.
Do you have any current icons?
No specific names come to mind. No specific mention names come to mind. But I will say TikTok has been like one of my I'm so drawn to TikTok right now. You know, like, TikTok for you pages are very curated. And mine is very queer. By this very. It's like, Mike is very bisexual, he's gay. That's the best way I could put it but essentially he they ran out because every time I scroll, I always have like, all these micro influencers that look like me first and foremost. And they're like documenting their outfit of the day. Or just like queer lifestyle or they're like promoting their like, for example, like a few artists like make clothes or they're DJs they have events going on whether that's in New York City, San Francisco, LA whatever. Or they're just like are they like a Stick and poke artists you know, just all these cool people with such different like talents and everything. And so I think again, no specific names really come to mind right now but they're like, a shit ton of micro influencers that I look up to a lot they had like 10k on TikTok, but still it's like I see myself in there. A lot and so I think the TikTok community, tick tock community partner Right now I find that I find inspiration through them primarily because I see myself in them more than I do. The people that are in like, mainstream culture, you know, especially the white tall cisgendered ones.
What spaces or contemporary inventions have been influential in fostering community?
TikTok social media is pretty big one. Honestly, Tiktok and Instagram primarily. Because, you know, social media is all about being seen. It's all about the public guy. And I think so grateful that I, you know, have, like, enough queer people in my life, or, you know, that influenced me to like, I don't know, be surround, be surrounded by every be surrounded by everything queer, like on Instagram and Tiktok. Like, like, Instagram, primarily my friends, and the things they share in these stories. Again, whether it's like small artists, or like people who sell clothes, people just kind of do a lot of different nice shit. It kind of expose, it's like, kind of exposes me to them. To the point where I like, kind of create this like, little like, clear bubble on Instagram, you know, which is pretty nice. And so Instagram is definitely one definitely pretty big influence in terms of like, contemporary inventions and spaces. Tick tock, honestly, is pretty much it. Twitter, basically, Twitter's has a different breed. I don't spend much time on Twitter, but I feel like if I were it'd be pretty easy for me to, again, find my community in a way. You know, whatever community I choose to belong to at that time. It was. I feel like, I don't know. Not speaking from personal experience, but Twitter seems like a very pretty, like pretty good way to foster community, I guess. Social media, for the most part.
What would be your opening soundtrack if you made about yourself and why?
Show me by big wild that song is me so emotional, and everywhere. And by the way, in a good way and releasing way it's just such. It's just such a powerful song. I listened to it. I again, being cabbie transparent a bit. Yeah. I trigger warning, suicide. I tried. I remember I tried to kill myself, like, between my junior and senior year of high school. I just, I was at a point in my life where I felt so low in on love, and loved. And I remember coming out of like, the, like the inpatient therapy that I was doing for that summer, and I, like went for a run right after and This song on Spotify came up on my daily mix discovery whatever the fuck it was I never heard before it's called Show me by big wild. And the course has of course goes is it's show me love show me love and pull it up for you don't want to miss me. Yeah, just show me love show me love show me love. And it's like, it's such a cathartic song for me to stay because I think that I don't know, love, you know, everyone wants love, you know, whatever capacity wouldn't say whether it's like a romantic capacity, platonic capacity and whatever. And I think I, once I, I, after that heard that song, it was just so powerful because I started to kind of like, kind of demand the universe to show me something that I know I deserved. You know, which is love.
Everyone deserves love, you know, at least to feel that because I didn't at the time. And so, the first time I heard the song, I said, a crime. I don't know why I felt like so much like, I've never been one to demand something that I know, I deserve. You know. And so once I heard this song, I started the man in the universe, show me love, show me love, show me love. And once I started to do that, like my, like, you know, entire life changed. It was not like that necessarily in that moment, like on that run. But like, over time, the more the song became a part of my life and the more kind of show me to kind of demand the things that I know I deserve, which is love. It really just changed my life, which is again helped me find, you know, chosen family that I will accept me for who I was, which helped me find communities that I wanted to be a part of, and that's the rave community, whether that's the chosen family community, whereas any queer community, whatever community once I once I begin to ask the universe or tell the universe to show me love, everything started to align for me. And it's just every time I don't know when I when I sing this song.
When I play this song, I imagined myself in like this like, euphoric, as delusional as stargazing as music video, where I'm just like, filling a song on my body on my flow, like levitating in the air, either closed, I'm just completely surrendered myself to everything the universe has to offer. Good, bad, ugly, sweet, whatever. But yeah, once I, once I asked the universe, to show me love it, it really everything just started to align for me. Not even just like the universe giving me love. And me, me also, like, allowing me to love myself as well, was something I had done before. And so yeah, long story short, show me by big wild that that song just means so much to me. And if you had a movie by myself, or film, even myself, that would be like, opening song, credit song, whatever, like, I love that song. so fucking much.
In what ways do you think music can enrich an individual and/or collective experience within communities?
I think the music has a very intertwined relationship with like a person's soul. And this sense that music serves as a way as a way to enrich and empower an individual. So you know, which is the reason why you feel like, but then you know, you, you feel it, it's like, I don't know, like, it kind of bubbles up inside of you feeling like deep down within. For example, if you didn't listen to like, when your child has songs, or even, or even if you used to go to church a lot as a kid and you like, hear like one of the gospel songs useless. The other church, like you feel it, you listen to that song, and you think about the memories and like, the environment, and like the feelings associated with like, when you heard that song first, like your song, your soul is like kind of tethered to that experience, you know, earlier in your life, anything. And so thinking about music and its connection to community. I think that music serves as a way to tether the souls within that community together. And in elaboration, I'll just talk about my rave experience.
Again, I think that a collective group of people kind of just coming together, that in itself, isn't necessarily enough. And so I think when the music at the rays begin to play, and everyone starts to dance and bother me even ways they, and the ways they feel most natural that music serves as a way to kind of tether all our souls together. Because we, because it, it chips at the most music chips at the most vulnerable parts of you, which you know, which is your soul. And so once the music starts playing in that kind of, like, intimate environment, everyone, all of a sudden, is sharing the same experience, you know, the music's playing, or it could also be that everyone has come to like release and what emotions and music is helping them do that. Either way goes, though, in that setting, within that specific community, music has connected all our souls together, which makes that community or that setting or that environment much more intimate, and much more meaningful. So in short, music connects souls from connects everyone from one cell to the next. And that is one of the many ways that community I mean, music helps enrich and foster a deeper, more empathetic, more trusting, more shared experience, like, you know, connection with each other within a community, if that makes sense. So, yeah, music is dope music is though.
Any final messages?
Honestly, what comes to mind, I kind of want to plug the DJs that I know again for the raise. Okay. Because I think, you know, with rage like they I don't know, I just raves are pretty intentional about the people. They choose to be a part of that community community, you know, the people at the race are there for a reason, you know, and I just, I hope that I just I just hope that people like fine, like the communities that they belong to, like do these rapes and whatnot. And so, but that being said, I'm going to pull out again, we're going to plug the DJs I know again. If you want to get into some raves, I'd follow enlightened Virgo creations on Instagram. They usually share array flyers they never posted location until the date of so you usually call the info line and ask if ally hangs up they'll text you the coordinates or the direction and step by step directions. So just kind of be like in tune to like what they're sharing on Instagram stories all the time. So enlighten, enlighten bro creations is one info hazard is the second DJ and one of my faves. And Henry Faye. Henry. H e n n y n Fe F A y they re DJs So yeah, that's the plug.