This is Capsuled a site showcasing sub-genres and subcultures of queer and/or BIPOC descent. This series will be highlighting queer and/or BIPOC creatives in a casual interviews with a focus on understanding the impact of community on marginalized identities and learning more about really cool individuals.
Today, I sat down with the Nepali fashionista in a 30-minute Zoom conversation about her queerness, self-expression, and relationship with communities. Check out her interview below and watch the full-length interview under the videos section!
Share a bit about yourself
My name is Anu Lamsa. I'm from Iowa. i That's where I grew up. I know not very fun, but my family were all in the poly and yeah, so the rest of my family live in Nepal really connected to my Nepali culture. I'm a senior in college at Georgetown University, studying International Politics and anthropology. Oh, I feel so stiff giving my Georgetown intro like that. But um, yeah, I don't know what else to say.
What communities do you belong to?
I would definitely identify myself with the Nepali community. And also with the lesbian community in specific, I definitely do identify with, like, the queer community as a whole. But I think the identity of lesbian is specifically unique in its own form. And it comes with its own communities as well. So I like highly identify with that. And also with like, the non binary communities. So I think, within the queer communities, those two are very important to me. And where I spend a lot of my time and energy as well.
I definitely feel like I don't share commonalities with everyone in the queer community. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, What is there for me in a white gay man to be talking about?
What foundations are essential for building a community in your experience?
That's a tough one. I think it definitely starts with talking to one another. I feel like that's maybe not so common. And within a lot of communities, which makes me think that there, they might not be the strongest communities. But I think going into building a community with like, the principles of love and care as two of your primary, like pillars that you want the community to be built around is a really important thing. Because I think a lot of the time, these, like love and care are taken as kind of like, oh, well, of course, we're gonna love and care for each other.
But that's may not necessarily be enough, because like, loving someone may not necessarily be the same as like doing all that you can to care for them, especially for, for example, like making sure that disabled people within the community have full access to the community, and caring for them in that sense. So I think, by approaching being in a community with the mindset of wanting to fully care for everyone within that community is really important, and really allows for intersectionality to take, like, a critical role in the community building, because I think everyone really does want to incorporate intersectionality into their communities these days. But I think not everyone has succeeded with that, because they haven't put certain principles at the forefront of their communities. So like, you can say you're an intersectional community as much as you want. But like, Are you actively thinking about how your decisions affect marginalized people when you make those decisions, you know, not just like, oh, and we also care about people of color type of thing, you know?
What contemporary spaces or inventions have been most influential in fostering community?
I've fostered community through the different clubs here at Georgetown at my university. And I think I think by being critical of these clubs at Georgetown is how I built most of my community because the university itself is a very predominantly like, why sis heterosexual institution. And I think by finding the people who are also critical of that is how I really built my foundations here at the university. But I also think in terms of like online platforms. I've met a lot of really cool people through Tic Toc, actually. And I follow a lot of them now. And they've introduced me to a lot of cool knowledge and communities in real life. So I think by like meeting people online, you can also broaden your understanding of the world and your understanding of communities through them as well. So don't having that having access to that platform has been really cool in terms of meeting people who are also passionate about the same things as me that might be harder to find, just in real life, you know, but I think just by being outspoken and true to what I believe has been, what has led me to make the communities I have, because I think by holding true to your principles, you can really make use of these contemporary institutions and inventions and make them serve you in the way they best can.
What are some drawbacks when building community in-person or online?
I think one of the main drawbacks is just people being unwilling to learn sometimes, because I think, I think for a lot of people, it's hard to, like, admit that you might not know everything about something or that you might be wrong about something. And that is definitely is hard for a lot of people to accept. So I know, in real in my communities that I'm in in real life, I think those have been especially difficult sometimes because people are unwilling to admit that they or accept criticism, because for example, my school has a South Asian society, right. But it's, it's almost entirely run by Indian students. And because of that, I think the club itself lacks a lot of perspective on what it means to actually be South Asian, because the most of the time they operate that under the assumption that South Asian equals Indian. And I've spent the last like four years here being like guys, other South Asian students exist at this school. I'm telling you this and they're like, oh, yeah, totally. I hear what you're saying, and then don't make any changes. So I think like, the two biggest drawbacks have been people not being open to criticism or taking criticism, but not actually applying it, which I think is equally as harmful to especially if marginalized people are telling you that there are ways that you can improve your the compute community to like best meet everyone's needs. I think you have to be open to taking criticism if you want to build a community that actually cares for everyone.
I think, even though these affinity groups market themselves as being like, a open space for everybody, I think there is so much work that needs to be done. Because some, I think these affinity groups they try to, like, represent a lot of people to like, is very overarching, like, oh, one group for all of South Asia, like, what does that even mean? You know, especially because where I grew up at the University in my town back home, there's a Nepali Student Association, like specifically for Nepali students. And then there's like an Indian Student Association. So I think, having that community around me all the time growing up, that was so very, like, specific to Nepali people's needs in our community, and then coming here, where there's literally four Nepali kids in my entire school, and then no one like, thinks about us when they do things, I'm like this. It's just like, disheartening to see sometimes, you know, especially when they market themselves as like, all inclusive communities.
Do you consider yourself a non-conforming person? If so, has that helped you discover community or communities?
I definitely do think of myself as a non conforming person, especially because I think I have tried to conform sometimes in the past. You know, how, like, when you're younger, you just want to fit in and things like that. So I would try, like back in high school to conform, especially because I grew up in such a wide area. So I think I always did try, but I never was actually able to succeed because I didn't actually enjoy doing anything that was trying to do. So I think I have always been non conforming in the sense of like, what I enjoy or like things I listen to, or shows I like, or just like things in general to you know. So I think that has led me to also seek out other non conforming people when I like build my communities, because I I also think that like everyone would benefit from breaking out from like, the expectations of the status quo. I definitely think that like with how the United States has been socialized as a society for the past hundreds of years. It's a very like, patriarchal, racist white supremacist institution. So I think by I not conforming to that you're actually doing yourself a big favor. And because it gets really draining, trying to conform to something that has been actively built against you. So I think when you find other people who also are like, this is not for me, this was not meant to serve me. That's when I think the highest amount of like, love and support for each other comes through.
What are the origins of your expression through fashion?
I think I've always like, been interested in like patterns and things like that, that didn't necessarily fit into the norm where I grew up, because it was a very predominantly white place. And everyone almost always just just in like, Nike shorts and like a tank top and things like that at school. And at first for a little bit. I was like, Oh my gosh, I wish I could be like these white girls, right. But I never like I think it was because my mom refused to buy me any of those clothes. So I was like, forced to, like, find cute ways to wear the things that I did have because she wasn't about to buy me the Lululemon shorts, or leggings that these girls had. I number one how to get creative in that sense.
But then I also think growing up seeing Nepali fashion or heavily influenced what I felt was cute personally, because I always thought like, long flowy things were cute, or like, layers in different ways are big and loud patterns. Like I always thought those were cute. And most of the girls in my high school and especially in my college, too, don't think that's cute, like they would not wear that. But I think I like started to care a lot less about what other people thought about me how I learned things when I think in college during the COVID semester when I was at home sophomore year of college I was at home for isolated and so I think that's what I really started exploring what I liked myself and what I liked to wear and what made me feel good. And I think seeing like different fashion people on Tik Tok also like definitely helped me gain more confidence in wearing what I like because I definitely think now i i wear things because I want to wear them and not because I think it would be cute for other people. And so I think that's what's like led me to like fashion so much.
And in terms of like, like fashion inspiration, I think just like looking or taking inspiration from the people around you too. So like, I am like the first to admit I'm definitely not the coolest dresser in the world. But I think that The people around me just so fucking cool. And I love to see what they're wearing, and see how I would like, make my own pieces kind of mimic that, but also in a way that I like it, if it's my own personal style. And I think just by like prioritizing wearing things that I like I've just developed a lot more cohesive and also unique fashion sense. Like, you can see, it's just a bunch of like patterns and bold things in the back. Because I think like, I don't know if this is just me, but I love clashing patterns, like I think patterns on patterns is so fucking cute. And it's, it's a lot, it's definitely a lot, but I think a lot is good. And I think I've always felt like I've been like a lot in different senses, you know, so like, growing up in a predominantly straight white community, I always felt like a lot. And so I think being able to express that in clothing has really helped me like, process my own emotions as well.
In what ways do you think music can enrich an individual and/or collective experience within communities?
Oh, that is a big one. I love music and I love what it can be for a lot of people. I think. I think a lot of communities come together around music as well and be like self expression music allows that that for me a big part of music is dance to and dancing to music. So I think as an individual music allows me to like physically express myself through like how I would dance to it and things like that. But then it also helps me find different communities who also find joy and dance and things like that. In particular, I love dancing to Nepali music, but I'm also on a Bhangra dance team at my school. So I think music has allowed me to find like some of my closest communities because they are such just like a like even if conversation is awkward. You can be like, do you like the song Um, or something like that, like, I think it helps bring people together in a way that like, I is unique to music, I think. I also think that like, it's just like, like the rhythm of it all can help. Like guide a community I think like, I think communities that enjoy music together are the best ones where you can just like, truly immerse yourself into something that is a very, like, I don't even know how to describe it, like all around experience, like I think music is like embodied in like your physical body, but also like, how you like hear the music and things like that. So I just think that music really does give an outlet to a lot of people whether it be in terms of like music production, or dancing to music and things like that. So I think my communities would not be the same without music.
Any final messages?
Last words, I think just as long as you find people who are willing to be critical with you, I think you will find your communities. That is like one of the biggest things for me it just be critical, but also like be willing to embrace those around you. And I think you'll find your people.